First-Person

Pura Vida: The beautiful people, stories, and places of The FID Costa Rica

I returned from Costa Rica last week, where I spoke at the 6th annual FID Costa Rica, a multidisciplinary design festival of 2000+ creatives, designers, architects, and artists across all disciplines, including graphic design, industrial design, architecture, culinary, and fashion. I was truly honored to share the stage with luminaries like Carl Sprague, Marian Bantjes, Eike König, Big Team Architects, and many more.

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Scary Sex Story Contest Winner

We had some amazing entries for our Scary Sex Story Contest — sexy tales of chills, thrills, and frightening encounters. For our winner, we picked the one that will give us nightmares for the rest of our lives. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

We were walking across Broad Street on our way to a meeting, when out of nowhere my partner grabbed my arm and whispered loudly in my ear, ”I want to try anal sex,” as if it was an urgent matter needing immediate attention. “Now?” I asked. “Don’t be silly, not now. But let’s not forget to do it.” There was really no chance of me forgetting. It’s not every day that she says things like that in the middle of a four-lane thoroughfare.

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Scary sex contest

We think about sex a lot around here, and we watch and read and talk about it. Most of what we see depicted is some sort of fantasy world where everyone is hot, everyone is aroused, everyone is adventurous, and everyone is satisfied, fully, all of the time. And we know that’s not exactly reality.…

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Why I Became a Sex Toy Designer

I am an industrial designer and co-founder of CRAVE, a modern sex toy company based in San Francisco. Designing sex toys was not something I aspired to do when I graduated with an I.D. degree from Georgia Tech. I didn’t even realize this sort of role existed.

When people find out what I do, they immediately want to know how I became a sex toy designer. Did I fall on some seriously hard times and start designing sex toys as a last resort? No.

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Watching naked ladies with my boyfriend

The idea of going to a strip club together started as a sort of joke when we had a few hours to kill. I think we both knew it was a potentially disastrous idea, especially considering the lack of alcohol at nude bars, but eventually we just went for it. 

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The appeal of the posterior

With the eyes of the world on Kim Kardashian’s “Break the Internet” magazine cover, and all things ass-related becoming a bit less taboo, we wanted to share a personal story about trying anal sex.

The first time I tried it was after my high school boyfriend’s good friends (a couple) raved about how great it was, how they did it all the time, especially if she was on her period. We did it in my basement, bent over a hideous, orange 70s couch. I can’t remember if my parents were home upstairs, but I seriously hope not.

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The Alluring Men of Pinball

I love playing pinball almost as much as sex. The touching, nudging, and the necessary roughness to keep the balls in play. My hands might be in control, but my mind is on the outlanes, pinball’s equivalent to the gutter. 

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What I Miss

Like any person who subscribes to monogamy, I had to give up a few things—and people—when I got coupled up. But as a bisexual woman, I also had to give up whole parts of myself, not because my husband expected it, but because I expect it of myself. And, frankly, I wanted to. No one’s every thrilled me like he does, and now I’m just not interested in sharing my intimate self with anyone else.

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Count Me In

Early on in my relationship, the “have you been tested lately/can we stop using these stupid condoms already” talk naturally led to the subject of past partners, specifically how many. This made me nervous being that I was an early bloomer and had a feeling my Catholic-raised boyfriend had gotten started a little later in life.

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Before and After…

I know he’s drunk when he starts reading me poetry. John Koethe, Wisława Szymborska. From there it’s only a skip to Hegel or Proust — poetry through prose and philosophy, he says — and my eyes glaze over. They cling to the periphery, admiring the smoke coming from his nostrils as he exhales.

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What is it about the Stiletto?

These high, thin, spiked heels are hot. They’re sexy. For some, they’re a symbol of female power — and lately — even male power. If you haven’t seen any videos featuring street jazz choreographer Yanis Marshall and “his boys” rockin’ it out in stilettos to the likes of The Spice Girls or Beyonce, well, you should. They’re awe-inspiring. And strange. And strangely hot.
 

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Private Parts

My boyfriend would probably call me an exhibitionist as he’s always telling me to stop walking around naked in daylight with the blinds half open.

What if somebody sees?” he says.

“So what if they do?” I say.

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Sex and self esteem… it’s complicated

I have a complicated history with sex. I’ve engaged in it, have sought it out, and have talked about it at length with friends, but my relationship with it is shaky. I wish I could say I was like Samantha Jones, and had sex “like a man”. I even wish I could say I thought of sex as being very special, and only worth sharing with those you love. I wish I knew where I even stood on the matter.

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#YesAllWomen Means ALL Women: An Interview with a Sex Worker

Cravings: Tell me about your history in the sex industry.
B: My start was gradual because as soon as I turned 18 I wanted to pose naked for somebody and be in Playboy, stuff like that. I was 19 or 20 when I posed for some random dudes on the internet and by the time I was 21 I started stripping. I was a stripper for a little bit, and when I was 22 I tried escorting. I went back to it over the years, for last time when I was 29. 

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Three’s Company

When my boyfriend and I were living 50 miles apart for two years and operating on a weekend-only schedule, we were each involved in a separate weekday relationship: Me with my vibrator; he with his hand and the girls in the porn he downloaded off the Internet. 

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Menopause: Turning Desert into Dessert Again

At 46 I traded my healthy uterus, ovaries and cervix for a one-way ticket to Menopause Land. Why? I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation, which means I am at high risk for developing breast and ovarian cancer. The BRCA mutations were discovered in the late 1990s. They got a lot of press when actress Angelina Jolie tested positive for BRCA1 a couple of years ago and then published an article about her decision to have a radical mastectomy. While that option is available to me, I chose to have a total hysterectomy, which also significantly reduces one’s risk. The surgery coincided with my foray into running, so I was in excellent shape and was fortunate enough to recover quickly. 

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Femmes in the Wild: Strap-On Sex for Girly Girls

First of all, that shit needs to be cute. As far as sex toys go, a strap-on is the one most likely to leave you feeling more than a little self-conscious; it is, after all, something you wear. For many, getting strapped adds to a sense of might and dominance, things that can make a top feel incredibly sexy. Yet for others, the whole strap-on enterprise is at odds with the play of submission and even femininity, the very things that often make a bottom feel incredibly sexy.

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Sex Toys & the Ex

It’s sad to say, but even the most sexually superb relationships can come to an end. So I recently learned when the physical distance between myself (in Berlin) and a lover (in Oslo) became too great of an obstacle to overcome, despite the overwhelming excellence of our bedroom adventures. With that decision made, we had one more thing to sort out: who gets custody of the sex toys?

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Nude Portraiture 101: A Personal Journey

The photographs were exquisite – bare, sensuous curves, outlined in a mellow, candlelight glow. These portraits were of women I knew, staff at the local women’s fitness studio I faithfully attended as I worked to get my mommy figure back into shape, and shot by a local professional photographer who was inspired to try his adept hand at nude portraiture. I was intrigued.

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