Sex

Getting it up: an ED education

As a heterosexual couple (a bisexual woman and a privately kinky man), having non-penetrative sex feels subversive sometimes. I love masturbating in front of him and performing with sex toys. Sometimes I will beg for his fingers to fill me up because I want that feeling, but I usually need a little more direct stimulation to get off. And no matter how amazing my orgasms can be, I want him to come too.

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Scary sex contest

We think about sex a lot around here, and we watch and read and talk about it. Most of what we see depicted is some sort of fantasy world where everyone is hot, everyone is aroused, everyone is adventurous, and everyone is satisfied, fully, all of the time. And we know that’s not exactly reality.…

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More Sex, Less Worry

Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast recounts a terrific story about how F. Scott Fitzgerald came to him one day in a fit of anxiety about the size of his penis, and how Hemingway took him to the Louvre to reassure him that his endowments were certainly equivalent to those of classical Greek statuary.

In the absence of Hemingway, most of us these days turn to Google. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, an economist who studies consumer behavior, wrote a fascinating article about this a few months ago in the New York Times, and it’s stuck with me as I talk about what we do at Crave, so I wanted to share it here.

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Bringing Eros to Orthodoxy

How do you connect to your sexual pleasure when you grow up in the most rigorously stringent part of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where women are required to cover their bodies from collarbone to toes at all times, and dating is generally limited to a single meeting, sometimes two, with potential husbands? 

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The appeal of the posterior

With the eyes of the world on Kim Kardashian’s “Break the Internet” magazine cover, and all things ass-related becoming a bit less taboo, we wanted to share a personal story about trying anal sex.

The first time I tried it was after my high school boyfriend’s good friends (a couple) raved about how great it was, how they did it all the time, especially if she was on her period. We did it in my basement, bent over a hideous, orange 70s couch. I can’t remember if my parents were home upstairs, but I seriously hope not.

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I Want Candy

Halloween is right around the corner and I’m getting a sugar rush just thinking about all the sweets that will be floating around the office, and on sale the day after for naughty grownups like myself. When it comes to sexy candy, I’ve never been one for chocolate body paint or edible panties, but with a strong oral fixation, I love to suck and play with the sweet things that fill this season.

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What I Miss

Like any person who subscribes to monogamy, I had to give up a few things—and people—when I got coupled up. But as a bisexual woman, I also had to give up whole parts of myself, not because my husband expected it, but because I expect it of myself. And, frankly, I wanted to. No one’s every thrilled me like he does, and now I’m just not interested in sharing my intimate self with anyone else.

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Count Me In

Early on in my relationship, the “have you been tested lately/can we stop using these stupid condoms already” talk naturally led to the subject of past partners, specifically how many. This made me nervous being that I was an early bloomer and had a feeling my Catholic-raised boyfriend had gotten started a little later in life.

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Before and After…

I know he’s drunk when he starts reading me poetry. John Koethe, Wisława Szymborska. From there it’s only a skip to Hegel or Proust — poetry through prose and philosophy, he says — and my eyes glaze over. They cling to the periphery, admiring the smoke coming from his nostrils as he exhales.

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Private Parts

My boyfriend would probably call me an exhibitionist as he’s always telling me to stop walking around naked in daylight with the blinds half open.

What if somebody sees?” he says.

“So what if they do?” I say.

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Sex and self esteem… it’s complicated

I have a complicated history with sex. I’ve engaged in it, have sought it out, and have talked about it at length with friends, but my relationship with it is shaky. I wish I could say I was like Samantha Jones, and had sex “like a man”. I even wish I could say I thought of sex as being very special, and only worth sharing with those you love. I wish I knew where I even stood on the matter.

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#YesAllWomen Means ALL Women: An Interview with a Sex Worker

Cravings: Tell me about your history in the sex industry.
B: My start was gradual because as soon as I turned 18 I wanted to pose naked for somebody and be in Playboy, stuff like that. I was 19 or 20 when I posed for some random dudes on the internet and by the time I was 21 I started stripping. I was a stripper for a little bit, and when I was 22 I tried escorting. I went back to it over the years, for last time when I was 29. 

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Menopause: Turning Desert into Dessert Again

At 46 I traded my healthy uterus, ovaries and cervix for a one-way ticket to Menopause Land. Why? I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation, which means I am at high risk for developing breast and ovarian cancer. The BRCA mutations were discovered in the late 1990s. They got a lot of press when actress Angelina Jolie tested positive for BRCA1 a couple of years ago and then published an article about her decision to have a radical mastectomy. While that option is available to me, I chose to have a total hysterectomy, which also significantly reduces one’s risk. The surgery coincided with my foray into running, so I was in excellent shape and was fortunate enough to recover quickly. 

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Femmes in the Wild: Strap-On Sex for Girly Girls

First of all, that shit needs to be cute. As far as sex toys go, a strap-on is the one most likely to leave you feeling more than a little self-conscious; it is, after all, something you wear. For many, getting strapped adds to a sense of might and dominance, things that can make a top feel incredibly sexy. Yet for others, the whole strap-on enterprise is at odds with the play of submission and even femininity, the very things that often make a bottom feel incredibly sexy.

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Phone Sex is So Old Fashioned: Hot Tech 2014

Sex is as old as time. It is one of our fundamental biological desires, yet modern sex looks and functions very differently now than it did in the past. And that’s great! Human sexuality will continue to evolve, becoming ever more dynamic as it adapts to the rise of technology. We are finding ways to innovate doin’ it for the digital world, and there are all sorts of tools and gadgets designed to stimulate a healthy and satisfying sex life in a culture increasingly dominated by computer screens. Here we explore some of the best new tech currently turning us on. This is sex in the 21st century, baby.

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Survey says: More sex toys in the bedroom…

Fifty Shades of Grey: Love it or hate it, but you can’t ignore the phenomenon. Earlier this year, the iVillage 2013 Married Sex Survey set out to see the E.L. James trilogy’s impact on the sex lives of married couples.

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